Bad News For Good People

A doctor calls a patient's home.

Doctor: "I have your test results back and I have some bad news and some worse news, Charlie."

Charlie: "Oh dear! Give me the bad news first."

Doctor: "Your lab results are back. You only have 24 hours to live."

Charlie, almost hysterical: "Holy hell! That really is BAD news. What in the world could be worse than that?"

Doctor: "Charlie. I forgot to call you yesterday."


White Ford Falcon said...

Funny! I got one....

A guy's gut is killing him. Goes to the doctor and is told that he needs to have his appendix out right away.

The patient is put to sleep, the operation is executed and the guy wheeled into the recovery room.

The patient awakes and shakes off the anesthetic... insterested in the results, he asks the doctor how the surgey went.

"Well, I have some good news and some bad news", said the doctor.

"I'm so groggy, I'll take the bad news first, Doc", said the man.

"The bad news is that there weas a mix-up and instead of removing your appendix, we accidentally cut off your penis and both testicles. We are very sorry".

"Holy crap!", said the patient. "That's frickin' terrible!" The guy takes a couple minutes then begins to speak "I could really use some cheering up, Doc... can I have the good news now?"

Without looking up from his clipboard, the doc says....

"It wasn't malignant".

Anonymous said...

Ha ha!


Doctor has a very young female patient going to the gynecologist for the first time. The patient sheepishly has a full exam some hesitation.

At the end of the exam, the doctor says, "Young lady, you have acute vaginitis," to which the girl blushes and says, "Why, thank you, doctor!"


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