Apple Bluetooth Keyboard Comments: Holden Follows Up

A kind comment on my Amazon review of the Apple Bluetooth keyboard (See my prior post here.) written in the tone of Holden Caulfield.  And my reply.

Robin says: If you really want to hear about it, Holden, I've never commented on a review before, but I love yours! Gonna give a copy to my daughter because she's reading your book! Hey, did you write that on your iPad??

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In reply to an earlier post on Apr 30, 2011 9:09:23 AM PDT
Last edited by the author 10 hours ago

coolreviewer1 says:

That's great that your daughter is very worldly, sort of like my sister Phoebe. It sounds corny, but I write every review on my iPad using this crazy Apple keyboard. And I don't even like Apple, with all their phony advertisements about being better than every one else and all. I mean, it gets old, seeing that young guy with the moppy haircut saying awful things--just goddam awful things--about the nerdy fat guy with the glasses. I think he's supposed to be Bill Gate or something, the fat fellow that no one would ever want to have as a friend. It's sort of like old Ackley at Pencey, popping his zits and taking showers all the time, and no one was crazy about knowing him either.

But now that Bill Gates is giving away his money by the wheelbarrowful to every skinny, starving kid in the world, I don't think Apple should be making fun of him. At least not so goddam much.

I'm sure your daughter, if she's anything like my sister Phoebe, still has pies in her eyes when she thinks about life and everything, you know, still thinking there's a Santa Claus and all, even though every phony bastard down at Gimbels lets their Santa beard fall off their face and smokes Camels in front of the kids, the crazy bastards.

That's the thing about kids, they want to believe. They want to think the ducks in the pond won't freeze over in the winter, and that the carousel horse with the glass eyes might someday come alive and jump right off that goddam merry-go-round. That's the swell thing about kids. And we should kiss the bottom of their little feet and let them know it's okay to believe. Even if the rest of the world thinks they're being crazy kids running in a field of rye that way and all.

fascinating JD salinger story -- how close this publisher came to infamy

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Favorite Movie: Impeccable Scorsese

Apple Bluetooth Wireless Keyboard Review: Better Than Mr. Spencer's Olivetti

If you really want to hear about it, I use this all over my house and all. They are one style, look like an old IBM Selectric, but they do type well, they do not hog batteries. Not backlit or jazz like that. I like keypads simple. Stradlater had one of these at Pencey, and that's how I first heard about it.

Connects well from ipads. No tiny fold out feet in back to hold it up like a regular keyboard, so if you want to use it on a flat desk, you'll want to get a dish or plate display stand for three bucks at a hobby shop because when Ackley sits on the desk --he just loves sitting on the damned desk and all, it's really annoying as hell -- it'll slide horizontal faster than a prostitute on 42nd Street.

I plan to get one for my kid sister Phoebe, her birthday is coming up and I have to get her something and she can type now. D.B., my older brother, can get himself one. He's rich. If my folks knew how much dough D.B. has, they'd have two hemorrhages a piece.

I enjoy these bluetooth keyboards, and for under seventy smackers, to get a keyboard that works, it's a true value. Uses a few batteries, I change about once every 10 months when the spelling gets crazy. You can even stick it in a bookbag, and you won't have to murder yourself pulling it out of there. And it's light weight, so you won't break your spine and all carrying it around.

I hope this review helps you. I hate when I take the time to read something and it means nothing to me whatsoever. I'm not trying to be one of those guys you like so much you feel like calling them up or something. Those phony reviewers can go straight to hell. They really can.

Cheers from New York City. Signed, Holden.

Bill O'Reilly LandsThe Best Interviews

Three Words To Live By

Newscaster With Tourettes Syndrome

Geneva IL New Bed And Breakfast Right Behind My Building

Kane County Chronicle GENEVA, IL – After continuing arguments about a special use to allow a bed and breakfast near Geneva’s downtown Monday, aldermen voted 6-4 in favor.

Aldermen, acting as the committee of the whole, last week voted 5-5 with Mayor Kevin Burns voting yes to break the tie. 

Linda Lydon, who owns the historic two-flat at 109 Peyton St., proposed a five-bedroom bed and breakfast – to be called The Geneva Inn – that she hopes to have open in time for Swedish Days. She proposes to charge $190 per night.

Speaking to the council and a standing room only crowd, Lydon said phase two will be a new garage with a second story to be her residence and her bedroom would become part of the bed and breakfast.

Fifth Ward Alderman Craig Maladra, who voted against it last week, changed his vote to be in favor.

Maladra said he understood how people felt, not wanting a business in a residential neighborhood, but he said he would base his vote on facts, not feelings.

“Bed and breakfasts are allowed in residential neighborhoods,” Maladra said of the city’s zoning ordinance. “Most people I heard from who opposed this bed and breakfast, favor a bed and breakfast somewhere [else]. It  makes me nervous where we get into a situation where it’s OK in somebody’s backyard, but not my back yard.”

First Ward Alderman Charles Brown, who voted against it last week, continued his opposition, saying it was not the right fit for the neighborhood.

Resident Carla Hibbard, who lives in an historic house on the 100 block of Second Street, agreed it was not a good fit for the neighborhood, especially traffic.

“Peyton Street is a nightmare,” Hibbard said. “This is not the right spot. Maybe there is a huge empty lot in Mill Creek” for a bed and breakfast. 

But Tom Konopacki, who owns Anastazia, a home decor business on Third Street, said the only thing missing from Geneva’s downtown was a bed and breakfast.

“You’re not realizing the draw these bed and breakfasts bring to the community,” Konopacki said. “Thousands of people flock to Galena to spend their money ... We’ve got trees and the beautiful river. What we don’t have is a charming, warm bed and breakfast feeling for visitors to come and stay in our community.”

Voting against the measure were Brown, Second Ward alderman Richard Marks, Third Ward alderman Ray Paw

Christopher Walken Would Like To Come To Your Restaurant Today

LIfe Is A Game

Bird By Bird by Anne LaMott

5.0 out of 5 stars Stunning prose, witty and familiar, warrant the high reviewer praise, April 2, 2011
By"coolkayaker1" (Fox Valley, Illinois USA) - See all my reviews






This review is for Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life (Paperback)
I have written positive reviews of others books on writing, but I have never been as moved by such a book until I read Bird By Bird from Annie Lamott. I came to this book on a lark, really. I may have heard about it on NPR, or in an online review, I don't recall. But it's clear I came into it with no notions, never having heard of Annie.


I am swept away by the cozy sincerity of the author, her voice true and experienced, a James Earle Jones reassurance in a petite package. Encouraging, authoritative.


When I was a child growing up in Massachusetts, I sat with my grandfather in his screen porch while he ate peanuts and listened to the Red Sox. He'd have tale after tale of his youth, mischief and lessons learned, and he always had a way of making it pertinent to me.


Ms. Lamott does the same in Bird By Bird. She breaks each concept into an essential tale from her own experience as a writer, a writing instructor and a woman. I remember the one where Annie had to rework her second novel, she describes the tribulations of rejection from her editor, each story scene in page piles, laid out on a huge open floor in front of her, shuffling and mending, rewriting and discarding. She arrives at a finished book that is not only accepted, but it's one of Anne's strongest works. (I plan to read that novel next). Bird By Bird is chock full of similar memorable vignettes.


This book is different than the thirty other books on craft that now stress my oak book shelf. It's not purely instructional, yet it's not just motivational. It is not rife with writing challenges or prompts (I think there are none), yet it's highly practical. A dash of Eudora Welty's On Writing, more eloquently written and equally helpful as Jill Dearman's Bang The Keys, Lamott's Bird By Bird is a safe haven to share--and by book's end, to shed--your innermost writing demons. Annie is your dorm mom, who's been through it all before, and will toast your victories, and cry with your failures.


Thank you, Annie. Your style of writing is what makes Bird By Bird soar. It was fun to read and informational, and is more than I had anticipated. I will read it again in a year or so, and will relish it's advice, like that of my late grandfather, all over again.

Challenge: Whole Story In Six Words www.sixwordstories.net

1. For sale: baby shoes, never used.

   —Ernest Hemingway

   
   

   
   

   
   

   
   

2. Billy’s raincoat leaked: bun in oven.  --CK1

3. 4/15/2011CK1 says:

   Wedding ring exited me into crapper.

4. 4/15/2011CK1 says:

   Goddam phonies give Holden two hemorrhages.

5. 4/15/2011CK1 says:

   Chicago cow: I didn’t kick lamp!

Last Known Footage of Jerry Salinger

Holden Gets A Phony Answer To The Ducks

Click here to find out where Holden Caulfield's ducks are.

Silly String

Snapshot: Playset, July 2010, Mt. St. Mary's Park, St. Charles, IL

Funny Punching Slo Mo

Geneva, Illinois Retail in, Retail Out.

Kane County Chronicle 4/5/2011 GENEVA – Geneva has lost 19 businesses since November, according to the city’s monthly business reports, but gained 13 new ones with more on the horizon, officials said.

“It’s been up and down,” Geneva Business Development Specialist Paul Evans said. “In general, we’re holding our own in the face of the economy.”

Evans pointed to factors other than the economy for store closings.

“Sometimes, it’s a corporate decision and not necessarily the local economy,” Evans said. “Sometimes, the business was fine in Geneva, but corporately not. Sometimes, things are going on in a particular company; sometimes, the economy is at fault. But most of the time, businesses are opening.”

Stores that closed include retailers Harry and David and Vino 100 and eatery Taco Fresco, all in the Geneva Commons; Fourth Street Galleries; Savannah Rose, on Third Street and Fresh Jewelry Company and Gift Outlet on Richards Street. Also closed were Water Heaters Plus and restaurant Mill Race Inn, and Gymboree Play and Music Center, all on East State Street.

Geneva Hardware relocated to St. Charles.

“What we’re seeing is, nationwide, retailers are starting to write leases again,” said Ellen Divita, Geneva’s economic development director. “Locally, we are having a lot of nice downtown mom-and-pop stores. And we’re seeing those that weathered the recession expanding.”

Among the new small businesses are Ann Ariel Interiors, 117 S. First St.; Jac N Jill Organic, 227 S. Third St.; BB Interiors, 600 S. First St.; and Unique Rug Gallery, 715 E. State St.

Among the new retailers are Nora’s Shoe Shop of Oak Park, which is building a second location across from Geneva Tire and Auto Store, 129 W. State St.; and The Pink Hippo, which sells children’s specialty items, at Dodson Place. Sephora, a makeup, skincare and fragrance retailer, 406 Commons Drive, will have a grand opening Friday.

Also, Divita said the city approved a permit for Charming Charlie, a national chain of women’s accessories and apparel in the Geneva Commons.

Also, Five Below, a retailer for pre-teens and teens, offering brand-name merchandise for $5 – or below, is scheduled to open an 8,000-square-foot store May 6 next to Dominick’s in the Fabyan Crossing shopping center, the retailer’s marketing director Liz Romaine said.

Five Below the store was founded in 2002 in Philadelphia and has been expanding. Geneva will be one of the Philadelphia retailer’s 12 Chicago area openings.

“Chicago area will be our latest step westward,” Romaine said. “When we look for real estate and communities in which to open up stores, we look for strong regional centers with great co-tenants and that center meets that criteria. We look for areas with value-minded consumers and a lot of families.”

Among the Geneva stores that expanded are Strut ... Your Stuff, 217½ S. Third St., which opened a second women’s retail store called Strut ... in Style, 207 S. Third St.; Anew, 27 W. State St., a consignment shop that doubled to add bridal and party consignments; and Minta Interiors, 9 N. Third St., has added a second store, Aggatti, offering handbags and shoes all imported from Italy.

“There’s a lot being built out,” Divita said.

SRNTY Jewelry by Jamie Bellandi, expanded her jewelry business at 228 S. Third St., to a new store next door, SRNTY Bridal and Events at 226 S. Third St. Bellandi designs and makes jewelry and the second store is specific to designing and making accessory jewelry for weddings and parties.

Bellandi said she opened the second store in February because the business needed the space – and it was time to take another risk.

“I opened the original store in 2005,” Bellandi said. “I felt the economy shift at the end of October of 2008 and by 2009, we definitely felt our share. ... In 2010, we recouped what we lost and had grown again.”

The original design area became too small for the demand. So when space next door became available, Bellandi said she took it. Now the two separate stores are joined inside so she can move between two design areas.

“I thought long and hard,” Bellandi said. “But at the end of the day, I feel the same way today as when I first opened my business. You can’t not take a risk. Otherwise nothing happens.”

The Lion Scene

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Mr. Spencer

Life is a game, boy. Life is a game that one plays according to the rules.
The Catcher in the Rye
Mr. Spencer in Chapter 2